BIAS Chapter 3: Embarrassment

Something pricked a sensitive nerve—Yan Xu glanced at the brown bag containing the birthday candles and hats on the shoe cabinet. He suddenly felt his cheeks burning, seeming as if someone had ruthlessly slapped him twice on the face. His already ice-cold feet seemed like they had once again stepped in cold water, so cold that they were numb and rigid, and he was unable to budge.

“What are you doing?” Yan Bai took the initiative and spoke first, taking off his coat. “Hurry inside, it’s freezing cold outside.”

Yan Xu hastily stepped back, and in his haste, he tripped on his own foot. He faltered two steps and fell backward. A cold hand tightly grasped his wrist, and Fang Jincheng’s gentle and light voice was heard, “Slow down.”

Hearing the noises coming from the foyer, Lu Qiuying hurriedly came out of the kitchen. When she saw Fang Jincheng, she came over in pleasant surprise. “Oh my, Jincheng. You’re finally here. Are you tired or hungry?” She shouted toward the bedroom, “Jianguo, Jincheng is here, come out!”

Fan Jianguo heard what she said and opened the door. He excitedly and happily walked quickly over to the foyer. His speed showed no signs of his legs being in bad condition.

Yan Bai and Fang Jincheng both held their suitcase and went in. Lu Qiuying hastily asked, “Was there a traffic jam? Why did arrive so late?”

Yan Bai answered, “There was a bit of a jam. If I hadn’t taken a detour along Pingchuan Road, I would probably still be stuck in the city center.”

Fang Jianguo, “What matters is that you’re here now. Thank you for your hard work, Xiao Bai.”

Lu Qiuying grabbed Fang Jincheng’s hand and said, “You’re not used to the harsh winter here yet, right? Oh my, why is your hand so cold? Hurry and come in to warm up.” She paused for a moment before raising her voice, “Look at me being a scatterbrain, the slippers! Jianguo, go to the bedroom and fetch the slipper I bought for Jincheng.”

The foyer became noisy and crowded, forcing Yan Xu into the corner. He stood stupefied as he watched the commotion before him that had nothing to do with him. It was as if he was watching a family reunion skit on the Spring Festival Gala on New Year’s Eve, of which was equally unrelated to him.

He blinked, lowering his head to look at his own white cotton socks, curling up his uneasy and cold toes. At this moment, he really wanted to put on his sneakers to retrieve some warmth, then return to the second floor little room of his dumpling shop.

When he was contemplating how to put on his sneakers smoothly without being abrupt, he heard a clear and pleasant voice, “Xiao Xu, why aren’t you wearing slippers?”

There was only one person who called him “Xiao Xu.” Yan Xu raised his eyes and saw Fang Jincheng with a smile on his face, fixing his gaze on him.

The foyer suddenly became quiet and was surrounded by an awkward atmosphere. Two seconds later, Fang Jianguo came over with a pair of slippers, breaking the awkwardness. “Here, change into the slippers and come in. Don’t keep standing in the foyer.”

Lu Qiuying said, “Yes, right, hurry and put them on. I bought this with your dad when we went to the supermarket last week. It’s from a famous brand. I also bought you two sets of pajamas.”

“Thank you, Auntie, thank you, Dad.” Fang Jincheng took the new slippers, walked up, and placed them in front of Yan Xu. “Wear mine.”

The surrounding air froze in an instant, everyone was silent, and all eyes were fixed on Yan Xu.

Yan Xu looked at the ash-blue soft-sole slippers, imagining what kind of soft and warm feeling it would be if he wore it. He moved his lips, “No…”

“There are plenty of slippers at home, why is there a need to pass them around?” Lu Qiuying interrupted Yan Xu, bending over and searching the bottom shelf of the cabinet, muttering, “Let’s see, let me look for it.”

“No need!” Yan Xu bit his lips, then looked at Fang Jincheng, and repeated in a low voice, “No need, I just didn’t want to wear one.”

After speaking, he turned around and went into the living room first. Fang Jincheng was also welcomed into the living room.

Afterwards, he silently watched as his mom and stepdad busied themselves. They were busy serving drinks to Fang Jincheng, busy asking Fang Jincheng how he was doing, and busy bringing in the fine wine and yummy food they prepared ahead of time on the table.

Suddenly, Yan Xu remembered something.

He guiltily looked up and saw that everyone’s attention was focused on Fang Jincheng. He wordlessly stood up and went over to the foyer, stuffing the brown bag with the birthday candles and hats into the gap under the shoe cabinet.

After Yan Xu hid the stuff, he turned around, only to see Yan Bai’s eyes looking him up and down. The other party calmly asked him, “What are you doing?”

“Nothing.” Yan Xu shook his head, patted Yan Bai’s shoulder, and returned to the living room. He forced himself to pretend to be calm and composed as he sat at the dining table. He held the chopsticks like an emotionless puppet and watched the reunion show that had nothing to do with him.

Lu Qiuying picked up a pan-fried dumpling for Fang Jincheng and said affectionately and gently, “Jincheng, here, try your favorite pan-fried dumplings. You probably weren’t able to eat these when abroad, right?” She then looked at Fang Jianguo and said with distress, “Just look at our son! After suffering three years abroad, his face had become sunken!”

Yan Xu suddenly remembered what happened in the kitchen earlier and finally understood why Lu Qiuying said she had to cook the dumplings herself—it was specially cooked for Fang Jincheng.

He tightened his hold on the chopsticks, his knuckles turning white in the process, and it was almost as if he was going to break the chopsticks. After breathing in and out several times, he finally held back and silently reached out his chopsticks toward the plate of scrambled eggs with tomatoes that he didn’t like. In fact, he really wanted to leave, but if he doesn’t finish this reunion show, his mom will definitely scold him again.

After eating dinner, the cake was served on the table.

The packaging box was opened to reveal the exquisite and pretty appearance of the cake—an eight inch blue and white single-layer cake adorned with plump blueberries all around. In the middle of the cake was a drawing of a little person holding the country flag, with a mole on the corner of the little person’s mouth; it looked like Fang Jincheng. Below the little person was a sentence: Warmly welcoming Jincheng home.

Even though he already guessed it, when he saw the cake, Yan Xu’s heart still jerked involuntarily.

The cake was prepared to celebrate Fang Jincheng’s return and not for his birthday. Nobody had remembered his birthday, nor was there anyone celebrating it. Even the cake size was perfect for a family of four.

Yan Xu looked down—he couldn’t help but wonder why his mom asked him to come over for dinner today.

Was it to stage a family reunion? Or maybe it was only because no one could pick up the cake, so she had him help pick it up? Or it could also be that she wanted him to run the errand of bringing some uncooked dumplings over?

It was all his wishful thinking. He made a complete fool of himself!

Yan Xu looked at his feet under the table which was numb from the cold, staring at the dirtied white cotton socks; he felt so ashamed that he didn’t know what to do. He was just glad that he didn’t bring out the birthday candles in the beginning, otherwise, he would’ve performed an absurd comedy to entertain others.

“Xiao Xu, eat some cake.”

Fang Jincheng’s voice brought Yan Xu back from his emotions that were about to spiral out of control. Yan Xu raised his eyes and looked over. Fang Jincheng smiled as he handed him a spoon, asking, “Do you want coffee?”

Yan Xu moved his fingers, and when he was about to accept the plastic spoon, another hand reached out and intercepted. Lu Qiuying’s high-pitched and resounding voice spoke up, “This was specially ordered for you, blueberry-flavored. Yan Xu doesn’t like eating sweets.”

Yan Xu curved his lips and smiled, but the smile didn’t reach his eyes in the slightest. He turned and looked at Lu Qiuying who sat across from him, asking, “Is it me who doesn’t like to eat it, or is it you who doesn’t let me like to eat it?” His expression was indifferent and his voice was also low, but it inexplicably made one feel a forceful sense of oppression.

Lu Qiuying slightly opened his mouth, not responding for a long time. It was only when Fan Jianguo pulled at her sleeves did she snapped out of it and stammered out her words, “Then I…I’ll cut you a slice?”

Yan Xu closed his eyes, and some vivid memories came to his mind.

After his parents divorced, his mother raised him and Yan Bai by herself, so they struggled financially. When they were little, only Yan Bai’s birthday was celebrated. His mom would cook two delicious dishes and buy a pretty cupcake. However, one cupcake wasn’t enough for two people, so he could only lick his lips and looked at Yan Bai longingly.

At the time, his mom would say, “Yan Xu, you don’t like eating sweets, so eat some more of the food.”

Yan Xu would obediently pick up his chopsticks and grab some food like his mom told him to—because he knew he couldn’t get it, he didn’t fight for it.

What was the point of fighting for something now when he didn’t bother fighting for it when he was a kid?

When he opened his eyes, the storm in Yan Xu’s eyes had already subsided like stagnant water. He calmly looked at Lu Qiuying and said, “No need, I indeed don’t like sweets.” The chair rubbed against the floor, letting out a “thump—” sound. He stood up and said, “Cheng-ge, welcome back. There’s still a lot of things to do at the shop, so I’ll go back first.”

Soon after, he turned around and headed to the foyer to put on his shoes. He then quickly took out the brown bag he hid under the shoe cabinet, and ignoring the repeated “Xiao Xu” calls, he walked out without looking back.