BURN Chapter 5

Translator: Abo Dammen

After returning from Fu Nan’an’s place, Chi Zhao made a quick stop at Zhi Zhi’s ward before happily heading back to his dorm. He had been smiling the whole way, thinking about how gentle Professor Fu was. But after washing up and lying in bed, he suddenly felt something was off.

It wasn’t Fu Nan’an who seemed off—it was Zhi Zhi.

Zhi Zhi was usually very clingy. Whenever Chi Zhao entered his ward, the boy would refuse to let him leave, insisting on playing games or listening to stories until it was almost time for the dorm to lock up. But today, Zhi Zhi had been unusually quiet. When Chi Zhao entered the room, Zhi Zhi was sitting on the bed with his legs hugged to his chest. After just a few words, he urged Chi Zhao to leave.

“Why so quiet today?” Chi Zhao had asked with a smile. “Did someone bully you? Tell me, gege is here.”

“No,” Zhi Zhi blinked, forcing a small smile. “I’m just a little tired. You should go back and rest, Chi Zhao.”

At the time, Chi Zhao had simply thought the boy was being unusually calm. But now, lying in bed, he realized something was wrong. Zhi Zhi’s eyes had been red, as if he had been crying.

No.

Chi Zhao sat up abruptly.

“What’s wrong, Chi Zhao?” His roommates, who had just settled in, looked at him curiously. Zhong Yangqiu, still playing with his phone, asked, “Why are you up again?”

Chi Zhao described Zhi Zhi’s behavior that evening, growing more uneasy as he spoke. “Something’s not right. I need to go check on him.”

“It’s so late. The dorm’s already locked,” Zhong Yangqiu glanced at the time on his phone. “It’s just one night. You can go comfort him early tomorrow.”

“Yeah,” another roommate chimed in. “Kids’ moods change so fast. By the time you get there, he’ll probably be asleep. It’s not worth the trouble.”

“And if you leave now, the dorm manager will chew you out. You know how strict she is. Even a minute late, and she’ll scold you.”

Despite their attempts to dissuade him, Chi Zhao couldn’t shake the unease. After Fu Nan’an had mentioned Zhi Zhi’s mental state, Chi Zhao had been on edge. The ophthalmology ward often saw patients struggling with psychological issues due to their physical conditions. There had even been cases of children Zhi Zhi’s age attempting suicide because they felt unwanted by their parents. Chi Zhao genuinely cared for the boy and didn’t want him to suffer any more.

“Forget it. Let her scold me,” Chi Zhao sighed, pulling his clothes back on. “I need to check on him. I won’t be able to rest otherwise.”

His roommates couldn’t stop him, but the dorm manager wasn’t so easily convinced. She had just gone to bed and was less than pleased when Chi Zhao woke her. “No. School rules say interns can’t leave at night.”

Chi Zhao pleaded politely, “There’s a young patient I’m worried about. I just want to check on him. I’ll be back soon.”

“You could at least come up with a believable excuse,” the manager scoffed. “The hospital has staff on duty at night. What can an intern like you do? Even if something happens, there are doctors and nurses to handle it. You’d just be in the way.”

Her words made sense, but Chi Zhao couldn’t shake his unease. His right eyelid kept twitching, and he had a bad feeling. The image of Zhi Zhi’s frail figure was stuck in his mind, refusing to fade.

“Please,” he begged. “Just this once. If you’re worried, I’ll leave my student ID here. I’ll take full responsibility if anything happens.”

“No.”

“Please, just this once. Really.”

After several rounds of back-and-forth, the manager finally gave in. “Fine, fine. I’ve never seen such a stubborn student. You win.”

“Thank you!” Chi Zhao smiled gratefully. “Thank you so much.”

“Just make it quick, and don’t tell anyone I let you out,” she warned as she unlocked the door. “The school doesn’t allow this. If something happens, it’s on me.”

Chi Zhao nodded quickly. “Don’t worry. I’ll be back soon.”

After half an hour of convincing the dorm manager, Chi Zhao finally stepped out of the dorm. It was late, and the streets were much quieter than during the day. Most shops had closed, with only a few still open in the distance.

The bright streetlights illuminated the asphalt road, and the occasional car sped by. The cold autumn wind whistled through his clothes, making Chi Zhao feel somewhat heroic as he walked against the wind. He plugged in his earphones and opened a music app.

Zhi Zhi, your gege really cares about you.

Chi Zhao chuckled to himself, zipping up his jacket.

Most worries turn out to be false alarms, and Chi Zhao was mostly going for peace of mind, not expecting anything serious. What could a child possibly do? The hospital had strict safety measures, even sealing the windows.

As Chi Zhao entered the hospital and made his way to the ward, he wondered if he’d wake Zhi Zhi or startle him. But when he saw the tightly closed door to Zhi Zhi’s room, his right eyelid twitched again.

To prevent accidents, the hospital kept the lights on at night. The hallway lights were always bright, and each room had a nightlight. Ophthalmology wards usually had brighter lighting due to patients’ poor vision, but Zhi Zhi’s room was completely dark.

“Zhi Zhi?”

Chi Zhao’s heart sank. He stuffed his earphones into his pocket and cautiously pushed open the door.

With a click, he turned on the light—and what he saw made him gasp. “Zhi Zhi—!!!”

The sudden brightness was blinding. Under the harsh light, Zhi Zhi sat pale and trembling on the bed, clutching a small knife. His arm was raised, poised to slash his other wrist.

He seemed stunned by Chi Zhao’s sudden appearance, staring blankly at him. Without hesitation, Chi Zhao rushed forward to grab the knife.

“Zhi Zhi! What are you doing?!” Chi Zhao shouted.

Zhi Zhi snapped out of his daze, waving the knife wildly. “Stay away, Chi Zhao-ge!”

Hospitals don’t allow patients to have sharp objects, but if someone is determined, it’s hard to stop them. Chi Zhao lunged forward, but he was too late. Blood began to trickle from Zhi Zhi’s wrist.

“Zhi Zhi!” Chi Zhao grabbed his wrist, but Zhi Zhi struggled, accidentally cutting Chi Zhao’s hand with the knife. The sharp pain made Chi Zhao gasp, and Zhi Zhi, realizing what he’d done, panicked and backed away.

“I’m sorry, Chi Zhao-ge! I didn’t mean to—I… Stay away!” Seeing the blood on Chi Zhao’s hand, Zhi Zhi grew even more frantic, trying to retreat. Chi Zhao knew he had to act fast. He grabbed Zhi Zhi’s wrist, but in the struggle, Zhi Zhi yanked on the earphone cord, sending Chi Zhao’s phone flying.

The loud clatter startled Zhi Zhi, giving Chi Zhao the split second he needed to wrestle the knife away and pull the boy into a tight embrace.

“No! Don’t touch me!” Zhi Zhi thrashed violently, his entire body shaking with fear and tension. Chi Zhao struggled to hold him, repeating, “Zhi Zhi, calm down! Zhi Zhi!”

But Zhi Zhi was beyond reason. The emotions driving him to this point had reached a breaking point.

Despite his small frame, Zhi Zhi’s strength was amplified by his desperation. He kicked and bit, making it increasingly difficult for Chi Zhao to restrain him.

First, his right arm broke free.

Then his right leg.

The bed shook violently from the struggle. Chi Zhao, using all his strength to hold Zhi Zhi, shouted hoarsely for help.

“Help! Help!” Chi Zhao’s voice was raw. “Patient in bed 26 is attempting suicide! Doctors! Nurses! Hurry!”

Zhi Zhi’s cries mixed with Chi Zhao’s shouts. Doctors and nurses rushed in, and what felt like both an instant and an eternity later, Zhi Zhi was pulled from Chi Zhao’s arms.

“Quick! Get the ECG machine!”

“He’s got a wrist injury! Treat that first!”

“The knife wasn’t clean. Prepare a tetanus shot!”

From the ward to the emergency room, the wheels of the stretcher clattered against the floor. Chi Zhao, now empty-handed, sat in the hallway outside the emergency room, his breathing slowly steadying as his heart sank.

Why hadn’t he been faster?

Why hadn’t he noticed Zhi Zhi’s distress sooner?

Why…?

In the heat of the moment, he hadn’t had time to think. But now, waiting, all the emotions came flooding in.

Chi Zhao had already been attentive to Zhi Zhi. While the boy’s parents often left him with a caretaker, Chi Zhao had made a point to visit him daily, playing with him, talking to him, and reporting any concerns to Fu Nan’an. He had been the first to notice Zhi Zhi’s suicide attempt, but even so, the guilt was unavoidable. Even if Zhi Zhi’s injury wasn’t severe—just a single cut—Chi Zhao couldn’t help but blame himself.

If only he’d been faster.

If only he’d been more attentive.

If only…

There were too many “what ifs.” The image of blood, Zhi Zhi’s uncontrollable sobs, and fragmented memories flashed before his eyes. Chi Zhao gasped for air, the pain in his hand still sharp. He punched his thigh in frustration, overwhelmed by regret, anger, and guilt. Just as these emotions threatened to consume him, a gentle hand rested on his shoulder.

“Chi Zhao?”

It was Fu Nan’an’s voice.

Lost in his self-reproach, Chi Zhao hadn’t noticed Fu Nan’an’s arrival. He looked up to find the professor standing before him.

Chi Zhao abruptly stopped crying, not wanting Fu Nan’an to see him in such a state. But the sudden silence only confirmed Fu Nan’an’s suspicions—the sobs he’d heard were indeed Chi Zhao’s.

“Are you okay?” Fu Nan’an asked softly, without a hint of blame. “Why are you hiding here alone?”