OSM Chapter 32: “I’ve forgotten everything about the past.”

Translator: Abo Dammen

He said “try.”

But that didn’t solidify the romantic relationship between the two of them.

This left a lot of space for imagination and adjustment.

He Zhiqiu still had feelings for him. But after learning that Li Yuze was unmarried, he didn’t immediately express them. He must have his own concerns.

Li Yuze didn’t rush to ask why. He figured that when the time came, He Zhiqiu would speak up.

Moreover, he had an inkling of the reason.

After all, they hadn’t seen each other for many years, and for anyone looking at it from a normal perspective, their feelings were probably seen as something from the past—not worth bringing up.

Besides, they had never clearly defined their relationship. They weren’t a couple, nor had they ever dated.

What they shared was more like an unspoken understanding. When they were young, that understanding might have been full of restless feelings and affection. But after ten years, who could be sure that the other’s heart had remained unchanged?

Li Yuze didn’t dare to guarantee that.

He Zhiqiu, who had always carried guilt over his past failures, felt even less confident in making such a promise.

Though, on his birthday, he had a faint suspicion that everything Li Yuze had done was planned on purpose.

But he dared not think too deeply about it.

He feared that the more he thought, the more he would crave.

He was afraid that if, after ten years, Li Yuze still felt something for him, that would only deepen his guilt.

He had always intended to carry this memory alone.

But now, Li Yuze had invited him to try a relationship.

Even if it was just a trial, it stirred something in He Zhiqiu’s heart.

All the guilt, fear, and avoidance he’d carried up until now were nothing compared to the chance to be with this person again.

But…

“I might be different now.”

“Hm?”

He Zhiqiu slowly withdrew his chopsticks and lowered his head, saying, “I might not be the same as I was before.”

They hadn’t been reunited for long, and most of the time they had spent together was on set, so their time to really communicate had been brief. He was afraid Li Yuze still saw him as the person he was in high school. If they tried to date, would Li Yuze be disappointed in who he had become?

He was certain Li Yuze liked the He Zhiqiu from when he was 17. But would he still like the He Zhiqiu who was 27?

They had only just reunited, and it was rare for them to be able to spend time like this. He was afraid that Li Yuze would be disappointed in him and they wouldn’t even be able to remain friends.

Li Yuze said, “I’m not dating the old He Zhiqiu. What difference does it make whether you’re the same or not?”

He Zhiqiu fell into silence for a moment.

Li Yuze leaned back in his chair, staring at him. It was as if he could read He Zhiqiu’s thoughts through his gaze.

After a long pause, he gently tapped the table and said, “Besides, didn’t we already choose to get to know each other again?”

“I’ve forgotten everything about the past.”

“I don’t even remember what the old He Zhiqiu was like.”

His words were harsh, yet gentle.

With ease, he had helped He Zhiqiu step over the barrier of their past.

Even though He Zhiqiu was still looking back with lingering attachment, to keep up with Li Yuze’s forward-moving pace, he had no choice but to follow closely, letting go of the past from their student days, pushing it further and further away.

He Zhiqiu hadn’t expected that, one day, he would break free from the trap he had set for himself.

He certainly hadn’t expected that, though it seemed they had already reached the end, a whole new beginning would emerge at this very moment between him and Li Yuze.

He Zhiqiu thought for a long time. By the time the food had grown cold, he gently nodded and said, “I agree.”

He gathered up the fragments of the balloon that had once burst, patched it all together, blew into it once more, and gave himself another chance.