RAM Chapter 14

Lu Xie grabbed the umbrella nearby and walked to Hai San’er’s side. He didn’t know how to respond. He couldn’t exactly admit that he came up to check on him out of worry. He had thought this timid fish would be quietly sniffling amidst the raging storm, considering he usually looked like he was about to cry if someone so much as raised their voice at him. Unexpectedly, it turned out that this was a fish accustomed to storms and unafraid of wind and rain. Judging by the rhythm of his tail swaying, he was leisurely enjoying the breeze.

A large umbrella appeared over his head, significantly reducing the rain. Hai San’er tilted his head up, his face pure and innocent as he looked at Lu Xie. “What’s wrong?”

Even though Hai San’er wasn’t scared, Lu Xie couldn’t just leave the fish on the rooftop. He asked, “Are you still uncomfortable? Can you leave the water now?”

The watery environment gave Hai San’er a sense of security, and he was already at ease. Without asking why, he obediently followed Lu Xie’s instructions, extending his arms. With Lu Xie’s help, he leapt out of the fish tank. As soon as he entered the stairwell, his fish tail gradually transformed into two bare legs.

Lu Xie wasn’t prepared for Hai San’er to appear completely naked in front of him. Turning away, he shook off the rain from the umbrella. “Downstairs.”

Hai San’er strutted down the stairs, overly excited, his bare feet thudding loudly against the wooden floor, and certain parts of him swaying freely.

“Get in the bathroom!” Lu Xie couldn’t bear it anymore and shouted, but Hai San’er didn’t even know what a bathroom was. He looked around curiously, only to be shoved into a small room by Lu Xie. “Stand here and take a shower. This is soap…”

Lu Xie paused. Did mermaids even know how to bathe? Sure, they stayed in water, but had they ever used soap? Even if they had, with Hai San’er’s clumsy hands, could he avoid injuring himself?

“Come in with me.”

Hai San’er followed Lu Xie. When Lu Xie twisted the knob, hot water began flowing from the showerhead, steam rising immediately. Startled, Hai San’er quickly dodged to the side.

Seeing this, Lu Xie asked, “What are you dodging for? Come here.”

It was obviously because Hai San’er wasn’t used to hot water. Watching the steam rising, he couldn’t shake the feeling that he was about to be cooked alive. But since Lu Xie called him over, he gritted his teeth and approached.

Lu Xie removed Hai San’er’s sun hat, which had done little to shield him in such heavy rain. The bandage on Hai San’er’s forehead was soaked. Lu Xie gently tore off the tape and was surprised to see that the wound had already scabbed over. Was this the healing speed of a merman? Far faster than that of ordinary humans.

“Healing this quickly?”

Hearing this, Hai San’er instinctively reached up to touch, only to press on the bump on his forehead instead. The wound might have healed, but the bump was still there, and he yelped in pain. “Ow!”

The bump didn’t hinder bathing, though. Lu Xie grabbed Hai San’er’s wrist. “Enough, stop moving.” With that, he raised the showerhead and aimed it at Hai San’er.

Hai San’er immediately acted like he was facing a mortal enemy, scrambling around the cramped bathroom. “No! Don’t!”

Lu Xie was dumbfounded. “What are you avoiding?”

“It’s too hot! I don’t want it!” Hai San’er cried out as if Lu Xie were about to dissect him.

Lu Xie tested the water temperature with his hand. “What’s too hot? This is just right.” He had adjusted it to a comfortable summer temperature.

“It’s steaming! That means it’s hot!”

Lu Xie pursed his lips and rolled his eyes. “It won’t burn off your fish scales, don’t worry.”

Caught between fearing Lu Xie’s anger and his dislike of hot showers, Hai San’er pouted pitifully, shaking his head.

Left with no choice, Lu Xie lowered the water temperature further and sternly warned Hai San’er not to move around again. Tentatively, Hai San’er reached out a finger to test the water. Finding it warm and not hot, he finally stood still and let Lu Xie rinse him.

After soaking Hai San’er thoroughly, Lu Xie pointed to the soap dish. “Use that soap to scrub yourself.”

Hai San’er followed the instructions, grabbing the soap from the dish. However, with his wet hands, the soap slipped and flew across the bathroom. He chased after it, running in circles until he finally managed to pin it to the ground just before it slid into the drain.

“Hehe.” Fearing scolding, he offered Lu Xie a sheepish grin.

Lu Xie took a deep breath, trying to suppress his irritation. “Use the soap.”

Unlike the hot water, Hai San’er didn’t resist the soap. Its sweet, fragrant scent tempted him to sneak a taste later when Lu Xie wasn’t around. But for now, he obediently followed instructions.

“Scrub thoroughly,” Lu Xie commanded, taking advantage of the rare opportunity to make sure the merman bathed properly.

The soap lathered easily, producing bubbles that Hai San’er smeared across his entire body. He scrubbed his top half, then his lower half, even holding onto certain parts and rubbing them around.

Lu Xie’s face darkened. He wanted to stop him but couldn’t bring himself to say it, worried that Hai San’er might inadvertently stir up trouble. “Enough playing. Finish your body and wash your hair too.”

Hai San’er was scrubbing enthusiastically when Lu Xie handed him a bottle, squeezing a generous amount into his hand. “Wash your hair properly.”

Hai San’er vigorously lathered his hair, creating piles of foam. Looking in the mirror, he styled the foam into various shapes.

“Pearl!”

“Starfish!”

“Fish!”

“Hehe, Lu Xie, look!”

His laughter was infectious. Lu Xie tried to keep a straight face, but Hai San’er’s repeated goofy smiles broke his resolve. “All right, stand still. Let me rinse you off.”

Once Lu Xie gave the command, Hai San’er obediently stood still to be rinsed. He even managed to dress himself in the clothes Lu Xie had brought, though his long hair proved troublesome.

“Sit here,” Lu Xie instructed, pointing to a chair by his feet. He grabbed a towel and began rubbing Hai San’er’s hair dry, grumbling as he worked. “What’s the point of having hair this long?”

A big guy—or rather, a big merman—didn’t need hair this long.

“It looks good,” Hai San’er replied, leaving Lu Xie speechless. True, it did look good, but it was utterly impractical and a pain to deal with.

By the time Lu Xie’s wrists were sore, Hai San’er’s hair was no longer dripping. Lu Xie dragged a folding cot from the corner, setting it up beside his own bed with a mattress and some bedding.

“You sleep here.”

Hai San’er, still with the towel draped over his head, looked puzzled at the bed. “I’ve never slept on one of these.”

“I know you haven’t, but with the storm outside and the fish tank stuck upstairs, where else are you going to sleep?”

Although the wound on Hai San’er’s forehead seemed healed, keeping it submerged in water didn’t seem ideal. Until it fully recovered, Lu Xie was worried about its effect on his appearance.

Hai San’er wanted to say that storms were no big deal, that the wind and rain were actually fun. But he glanced at the nearby bed and asked Lu Xie, “Will you sleep here too?”

“Yeah.”

He was going to sleep with Lu Xie! He was thrilled!

“Lu Xie, I’ve never slept on a bed before!”

Lu Xie replied absentmindedly, “You’ll get to experience it now.”

The bed felt similar to a lounge chair to Hai San’er. He lay down, propping his chin on his hands, and cheerfully watched Lu Xie on the adjacent bed. Without his tail, he swung his legs in the air, clearly delighted.

Lu Xie ignored Hai San’er’s intense gaze, stretched out his arm, and turned off the bedside lamp. “Go to sleep.”

“Okay!”

Hai San’er answered obediently, but even with his eyes closed, Lu Xie could still feel the scorching stare directed at him. Turning over and crossing his arms, he decided to ignore it, assuming Hai San’er would get bored and eventually go to sleep. However, Hai San’er stayed completely still, maintaining the same position, still staring at him.

Unable to take it anymore, Lu Xie sat up abruptly and turned the lamp back on. “Can you sleep properly?”

“I am sleeping,” Hai San’er defended himself.

Lu Xie couldn’t handle his blatant lie. He needed to call him out. “How can you be sleeping with your eyes wide open?”

“I always sleep with my eyes open,” Hai San’er replied gently but confidently.

Lu Xie opened his mouth but found himself at a loss for words. Fish do sleep with their eyes open, don’t they? But that still didn’t justify him staring at him like that.

“Aren’t you trying to be human? Humans sleep with their eyes closed!”

Determined to be a proper human, Hai San’er resolved to learn how to sleep with his eyes shut. He squeezed them shut tightly, clenching his facial muscles together. After what felt like an eternity to him, he couldn’t help but peek. When he did, Lu Xie pounced on him.

“Is it that hard to sleep with your eyes closed?” Lu Xie straddled Hai San’er’s waist, pressing his eyelids shut with both hands. “Try opening them again, I dare you!”

Hai San’er cried out in alarm, “Ah! Don’t hit me! I won’t open them… sob sob…”

He wasn’t afraid of the lightning and thunder outside, but when Lu Xie got angry, he became a pitiful, fragile little fish.

Over the past few days, Lu Xie’s patience had been worn thin by Hai San’er. He didn’t actually plan to hit him, just scare him a little. He pointed at Hai San’er’s nose and threatened, “Keep your eyes closed!”

Hai San’er, weak and helpless, obediently shut his eyes. The room finally fell quiet for a moment, but it didn’t last.

“Can I speak?” Hai San’er asked timidly without opening his eyes.

“Shut up,” Lu Xie snapped.

“I just want to say one thing,” Hai San’er pleaded.

Lu Xie knew better. Hai San’er always had “just one more thing” to say.

“Do you want me to sew your mouth shut?” Lu Xie threatened.

Hai San’er didn’t fully understand what that entailed, but it sounded painful. He believed it—Lu Xie seemed capable of doing such a thing. So, he bit his lip and dared not say another word.

The room fell silent again, but only briefly.

Hai San’er gathered his courage and said, “You sitting on me is making it hard for me to sleep.”

It was only then that Lu Xie realized he was still straddling Hai San’er’s waist. Looking down, he noticed that Hai San’er’s sleep pants were noticeably tented.

Damn it! This shameless, perverted fish!