RAM Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Little mermaid

“A chocolate coin?” Lu Xie blinked, fully awake now. This was getting ridiculous. If this guy could find actual gold coins, why was he parading around in a seaweed belt?

The clueless mermaid tilted his head in confusion. He didn’t know what “chocolate coin” was, but he hummed uncertainly, afraid Lu Xie wouldn’t accept his gift. To emphasize his sincerity, he leaned forward, practically shoving the coin into Lu Xie’s face.

The coin hovered so close that Lu Xie instinctively leaned back. Up close, the thing looked even more authentic. His suspicion wavered. Slowly, he reached out, fingertips brushing the cool, solid metal—it didn’t feel like chocolate. He hesitated again, unsure whether to take it. But before he could decide, the merman grabbed his hand, pried his fingers open, and deposited the coin right into his palm.

Lu Xie weighed it in his hand, brushing off some of the clinging mud. The sun hit the metal, and it glimmered with unmistakable golden brilliance. It was real.

“Holy sh—” Lu Xie’s voice trailed off as he examined the coin with growing disbelief. This idiot had really brought him a gold coin? “Where did you even find this?”

The mermaid pointed toward the shimmering ocean. “I found it on the seabed for you. I recently did some cleaning down there—had to throw away a lot of treasure chests. This is all I could recover.”

Cleaning? What was he, the ocean’s janitor? Did he clock in with a mop and bucket too?

“You’re giving it to me?” Lu Xie narrowed his eyes, scrutinizing the man. There was no way this guy understood the value of money. The coin wasn’t huge, and who knew its purity, but it’d still fetch a decent price. Who wouldn’t take free gold?

The merman nodded eagerly. “It’s for you.”

Lu Xie spun the coin between his fingers, the metal catching the light as he thought it over. A free coin? Sure, but nothing in life came without strings. “Alright,” he muttered, his voice low. “Spit it out. What’s the catch? What do you want?”

The mermaid’s face lit up, as though Lu Xie had just agreed to a marriage proposal. His voice softened, almost pleading. “Does this mean… does this mean I can stay here? With baobao? Just for a little while.”

“Just for a while,” he added quickly, seeing Lu Xie’s skeptical expression. “I can’t stay on land too long anyway…”

Lu Xie groaned inwardly. This guy was relentless. Sure, he hadn’t caused any real trouble—yet. But the constant reappearances, the unsolicited gifts of sea trash… if he kicked him out now, he’d just pop up again tomorrow with more junk. At least if the guy stuck around, Lu Xie could keep an eye on him.

And if this lunatic turned out to be dangerous? Well, it’d be easier to deal with him up close. Or so he told himself.

Seeing Lu Xie’s hesitation, the merman crouched down and grabbed his arm, shaking it gently like a child begging for candy. “Just for a little while,” he pleaded, eyes wide and shiny with desperation.

Lu Xie yanked his arm away, annoyed. “Fine. But if you cause any trouble, I’ll toss you back into the ocean like I did with that octopus.”

The merman’s face broke into a radiant smile, completely unbothered by the threat. He’d clearly already forgotten yesterday’s lesson. Lu Xie sighed, rubbing his temple. What a pain in the ass.

“What are you watching?” the merman asked suddenly, his voice curious.

“TV,” Lu Xie replied flatly. What kind of dumb question was that? It was a TV screen—what else would it be?

The merman nodded earnestly, his gaze glued to the moving images on the screen. He’d seen TVs before, aboard the occasional yacht floating above his home, but he’d never had the chance to properly watch one. The vibrant colors and lifelike movement fascinated him. Drawn in, he moved closer.

Much closer.

Lu Xie scowled as a curtain of seaweed blocked his view. He tilted his head back, glaring at the man’s broad back, then down at his sturdy legs. “What the hell are you doing?” he barked. “Haven’t you seen a TV before?”

The merman turned around, looking unreasonably innocent. “No, never.”

Lu Xie’s annoyance shot up to a boiling point. Was this guy for real? “You’ve never seen TV, but that doesn’t mean you get to stand in front of it! What’s next, climbing inside the screen? Do you want to watch the show, or be in it?”

The merman blinked, his eyes lighting up. “I can go inside the TV?”

Lu Xie felt his sanity slipping. He slapped the remote down on the table, stood, and stomped toward the bathroom. “Fine. Stay here and watch the damn TV. Just don’t break anything!”

The merman smiled brightly as Lu Xie disappeared into the restroom. What a kind man, letting him stay and watch. He really was a good person, despite his temper.

Just as he was getting comfortable, the show cut to commercials. The merman frowned, confused. The lively images of people and places were replaced by unfamiliar objects and boring chatter. He glanced toward the closed bathroom door, debating whether to ask Lu Xie what was happening. But then he remembered the man’s short fuse and thought better of it.

Instead, his attention shifted to the remote lying on the table. He stared at it for a moment before cautiously reaching out and picking it up.

The merman fiddled with the remote control, turning it over and inspecting it. He had just seen Lu Xie press this thing, and the screen changed. Mimicking Lu Xie’s movements, he pressed a button. Sure enough, the TV program switched to a new channel. Intrigued, he pressed three more times, but his hands froze when the screen displayed a colorful cartoon. Instantly, the merman’s entire attention was captivated.

The cartoon had vibrant colors and lively dialogue. It was far more entertaining than what had been on before. The merman plopped himself onto Lu Xie’s recliner, but it still wasn’t close enough. Dragging the chair across the floor, he positioned it directly in front of the TV for a better view.

When Lu Xie came out of the bathroom, he found the naked man absorbed in the TV, practically trying to crawl into the screen. The light from the TV illuminated his bright blue eyes. As Lu Xie drew closer, he realized the guy was watching a children’s channel—ironically, “The Little Mermaid” was playing.

The story had reached an exciting part, and the naked man didn’t even notice Lu Xie’s return. Without a word, Lu Xie snatched the remote and changed the channel.

“Ah!” The merman whipped his head around, lunging for the remote. “Don’t change it!”

The two were about the same height, but with Lu Xie standing and the merman sitting, all Lu Xie had to do was raise his hand. The merman couldn’t reach the remote no matter how hard he tried.

“How old are you, watching cartoons?”

What’s a cartoon? The merman didn’t understand, but he wanted to keep watching. He was curious about what happened to the little mermaid.

“Change it back! I wasn’t finished!” With that, the merman leapt to his feet, pouncing on Lu Xie and grabbing the other end of the remote.

“Hey!” Lu Xie’s temper flared. This guy didn’t know his place! Did he think he owned the place? This was his house, and now he couldn’t even use his own TV remote? Dodging out of the way, Lu Xie took a step back. The merman lost his balance, his chin sliding down Lu Xie’s chest. Arms wrapped tightly around Lu Xie’s waist, they ended up in an awkward, wet embrace.

Lu Xie looked down, his face devoid of expression, at the shameless merman clinging to him. Being manhandled by a guy was bad enough, but an airheaded guy? It was downright insulting. If it weren’t for the fact that this idiot had saved his life, Lu Xie would’ve gladly buried him somewhere.

“Let me watch.” The merman rested his chin against Lu Xie’s chest, looking up at him with pitiful eyes.

A grown man acting all cutesy—Lu Xie couldn’t handle it. And the seaweed skirt didn’t help. He shoved the merman off, tossing the remote onto the recliner.

“What do you think this is, a movie theater?”

Surprised by Lu Xie’s cooperation, the merman gleefully grabbed the remote. After some clumsy fiddling, he managed to switch back to the children’s channel. Unfortunately, the little mermaid episode had just ended, and the host was now bidding farewell to the young viewers.

“Huh?” The merman stared at the screen, stunned. Realizing what had happened, he collapsed onto the recliner, his face crumpling. Then came the tears. “Wahhh…”

It was the first time Lu Xie had seen a grown man cry over missing a cartoon. His temples throbbed as his fists clenched. He was tempted to punch the guy right in the face.

“What the hell are you bawling about?”

“It’s over… Wahhh… It’s all your fault… You changed the channel…”

What a nutjob.

Lu Xie didn’t owe anyone an explanation, least of all this idiot. But the crying was grating on his nerves. And what did this have to do with him switching the channel? The program had simply ended. Did this fool think he ran the entire TV station? Maybe the guy really hadn’t seen TV before.

“Are you brain-dead? Didn’t you see the preview? They’re only airing half today. The rest will play tomorrow. How is that my fault?”

The merman, teary-eyed, stared blankly at the screen for a while before turning to Lu Xie in confusion. He didn’t know what a preview was—or how to read.

“So… I can watch it tomorrow?”

“You really think this place is a movie theater?” Lu Xie’s temper flared again. If he’d known this guy would cause such trouble, he wouldn’t have let him in. That gold coin probably wouldn’t even cover the electricity bill.

What’s a movie theater?

The merman wiped his tears and fixed Lu Xie with a pleading gaze. Lu Xie, worn out, snapped, “Shut your mouth.”

Silence meant agreement. Delighted, the merman realized it was getting late. “I’ll head back now and come again tomorrow.”

Come again? Every day?

“Whose house do you belong to, anyway?” Lu Xie muttered, annoyed. The guy probably came from town. Since Lu Xie was still recovering and hadn’t earned any bounty money yet, he couldn’t afford to have this freeloader watching TV for free. “What’s your name?”

The merman tilted his head. “What’s your name?”

“Lu Xie,” he replied impatiently. “Now answer my question.”

“I don’t have a name.”

Maybe he did once, but living in the deep sea, names weren’t needed. Over time, even he had forgotten.