HLJ Chapter 5

Early in the morning, Lin Chun woke up in He Lanjin’s arms.

She received a message from Song Ya.

Song Ya: [Lin Chun, I asked my husband to help me find He Lanjin’s address.]

Song Ya: [Address]

Lin Chun kissed the corner of He Lanjin’s lips—

“Xiao Jin, wait for me. Wait for me to confirm the doubts in my heart. Whether you still want to be with me after you regain your memory, I will respect your wishes.”

Lin Chun quietly took a key from He Lanjin’s pocket and gently closed the door.

Following the address Song Ya provided, Lin Chun drove to an old house not far away.

As she opened the door, a wave of dust and dampness hit her. Lin Chun coughed a few times and reached out to turn on the light, but after several attempts, it wouldn’t work. She gave up and turned on her phone’s flashlight instead.

The sight before her was a shabby and simple living room, with a wooden table and chairs covered in mold spots neatly placed in the center. On the table were two sets of bowls and chopsticks. There was no kitchen, and on the windowsill sat an electric stove and a small pot.

Lin Chun closed the door, plunging herself into darkness. She pushed open the only door inside the room—

The room was small but tidy, with an entire wall covered in photos. Lin Chun’s right eye twitched as she shone her flashlight on the wall, realizing it was filled with pictures of herself.

There were photos from her middle school military training, from sports day when she was running, from the school talent show when she was singing, and even her graduation photo.

There were photos from her high school entrance, from spring outings, and from when she received awards.

There were also many photos of her and He Lanjin together, but He Lanjin had only kept the ones of Lin Chun alone, cutting out her own part with scissors.

Just as Lin Chun had guessed, He Lanjin had liked her since middle school.

But why? What made He Lanjin like her?

Lin Chun walked into the room and approached a narrow desk. On the left side were many books, and on the right was a stack of notebooks.

The notebook on top had a cover that read: [The 13th Year of Liking Lin Chun.]

Three years of middle school, three years of high school, four years of university, and three years after graduation.

Added together, it made exactly 13 years.

So, He Lanjin had liked her for this long.

Lin Chun pulled out the notebook at the very bottom. Although the pages were yellowed, there wasn’t a single crease. Lin Chun opened it to the first page, her fingertips trembling.

[The 1st Year of Liking Lin Chun]

[On the first day of middle school, I fell for a girl named Lin Chun. She gave everyone candy, and she gave me a peach-flavored one. It was the first time I had ever tasted candy, the first time I had ever experienced sweetness in my life.]

[We were placed in different classes. She was in the class next to mine, sitting in the second row of the third column.]

[I like Lin Chun’s eyes. She looks so cute when she smiles.]

…

[The 2nd Year of Liking Lin Chun]

[After a summer break, Lin Chun has grown taller, and her hair is shorter. Her hair tie is yellow.]

[A boy confessed to Lin Chun, but she rejected him. How could he be worthy of Lin Chun?]

[Today, Lin Chun fainted. I stayed with her in the infirmary for an hour and thirteen minutes. Her eyelashes are so long, and her skin is so fair. But I feel so heartbroken for her. What’s wrong with her?]

…

[The 3rd Year of Liking Lin Chun]

[During the final exams, I was assigned to the same examination room as Lin Chun. She looks so serious when she’s solving problems. I need to work hard to catch up to her.]

[There are three months left until graduation. I wonder which high school Lin Chun will go to.]

[I saw Lin Chun during the graduation photo today. She didn’t tie her hair up, and she looked so beautiful.]

…

[The 4th Year of Liking Lin Chun]

[I guess the heavens heard my prayers. Lin Chun and I are in the same class now.]

[Lin Chun has made many friends. I want to be her friend too, but I don’t have the courage to talk to her.]

[Today, Lin Chun spoke to me when she was collecting homework. This is the second time she’s spoken to me.]

…

[The 5th Year of Liking Lin Chun]

[We were assigned to the same physics experiment group. Lin Chun is really amazing. She was the first to complete such a difficult experiment.]

[Lin Chun didn’t eat lunch today. I secretly bought her bread, but she didn’t eat it.]

[It’s time to choose between arts and sciences. The homeroom teacher told me she would choose science, so I’ll choose science too.]

…

[The 6th Year of Liking Lin Chun]

[Lin Chun and I are in the same science class. It’s our final year of high school. I need to work even harder. I want to get into the same university as her.]

[They’re supposed to be friends. How could she treat Lin Chun like that?]

[I feel sorry for my grandmother, but the thought of never seeing Lin Chun again makes my whole world collapse.]

…

[The 7th Year of Liking Lin Chun]

[Repeating my final year of high school, I feel like I can see Lin Chun’s shadow in class every day.]

[The teacher told me Lin Chun got into N University. That’s great. She’s so amazing.]

[I got into N University too. I can see Lin Chun again.]

[My grandmother passed away. From now on, Lin Chun is the only person I care about in this world.]

…

[The 8th Year of Liking Lin Chun]

[I saw Lin Chun at school, but she doesn’t seem to remember me.]

…

[The 9th Year of Liking Lin Chun]

[Lin Chun is in a relationship. Her partner is a senior. I’m happy for her, and I’m glad she likes girls too.]

…

[The 10th Year of Liking Lin Chun]

[Lin Chun has graduated. I secretly went to her graduation ceremony. She’s still as dazzling as ever.]

…

[The 11th Year of Liking Lin Chun]

[I can only get through the days by reading my old diaries, surviving on memories of Lin Chun.]

[I miss Lin Chun so much.]

[I tried writing a novel. I wanted to write Lin Chun into it, and I wanted to write down my longing for her.]

[Will Lin Chun ever read my novel?]

…

[The 12th Year of Liking Lin Chun]

[The heavens have blessed me. I found out where Lin Chun works. She actually opened a bar herself.]

[Lin Chun is so focused when she’s working, but she drinks so much. Won’t her stomach suffer?]

[I’m sick. The doctor said my memory will start to get confused. I don’t want to forget Lin Chun. She’s my life.]

[I’m too greedy. I couldn’t help but go to Lin Chun’s bar to see her. She actually asked me, “He Lanjin, how about we give it a try?”]

[Lin Chun is the only light in my life. This fleeting happiness is the last joy I’ll have before I die.]

…

[The 13th Year of Liking Lin Chun]

[Lin Chun and I are living together. I’m really with her now.]

[If I weren’t sick, I would want to be with Lin Chun for the rest of my life.]

[Lin Chun seems to really like me, maybe even love me a little. But I don’t want to die when she loves me the most. I can’t bear to leave Lin Chun, can’t bear to make her sad.]

[I went to the hospital for a check-up with a glimmer of hope. The doctor said I don’t have much time left. I begged the doctor not to reveal my illness to anyone, especially Lin Chun.]

[It’s time to leave.]

[My Lin Chun, you deserve the best person in the world, not someone like me who’s about to die.]

…

Lin Chun cried uncontrollably, clutching her chest as if someone had stripped her bones and tendons.

He Lanjin…

You liar…

If He Lanjin hadn’t lost her memory, if the police hadn’t come to her, would she have never known the truth?

Would she have never known how much He Lanjin loved her, never known how much He Lanjin had endured and sacrificed, never known that He Lanjin broke up with her because she was so seriously ill?

Lin Chun’s tears flowed uncontrollably. She sobbed, her chest heaving violently. She didn’t know how to process everything she had just learned.

Lin Chun helplessly leaned on the small desk, repeatedly caressing the notebooks that held He Lanjin’s fervent love.

How many days and nights had He Lanjin sat here alone, writing in her diary?

How much pain had she endured?

Lin Chun’s phone rang at that moment. On the other end was her mother’s anxious voice.

“Chun Chun! Come home quickly! Your friend—”