RAM Extra 2

“Dear audience, welcome to the inaugural Rooftop Cup Oceanic Creatures Freestyle Obstacle Race!”

As soon as the host, Lu Xie, finished his opening line, Hai San’er, acting as the audience, grabbed various props—a horn, a bell—and created the noise of a dozen people all by himself.

“Woohoo!”

“On lane one, we have our contestant: Little Turtle!” Little Turtle graciously flipped over in the water, giving Lu Xie some face.

“On lane two, it’s Little Fish Fry!” Little Fish Fry seemed a bit lost, only spotting the finish line after Hai San’er picked it up and spun it around.

“And finally, we have our Little Mermaid!”

Though the bathtub audience consisted only of his two dads, Zhenzhu blew kisses enthusiastically in all directions, attempting to charm his way to bonus points.

“All contestants are ready!” Lu Xie pulled out a whistle from who knows where, shouting, “Ready… set…” A sharp whistle pierced the air.

The bathtub erupted into chaos, waves splashing everywhere. The three contestants were neck and neck, but surprisingly, the underdog Little Turtle was slightly ahead.

“And now, we enter the obstacle course!”

As soon as Lu Xie announced this, Hai San’er scrambled to toss in leaves, rubber ducks, and foam pieces into the bathtub.

“Oh no! Little Turtle crashed into a duck and fell behind! Little Mermaid seized the opportunity and swam ahead! Now we simulate a typhoon!”

Hai San’er quickly grabbed an electric fan, aiming it at the contestants. The “strong winds” blew all three back to the starting line.

“The race is now in its most intense phase. Due to the typhoon, everyone’s back at the starting point,” Lu Xie lamented. “Next up, we simulate a whirlpool!”

Putting down the fan, Hai San’er swirled his fingers in the water, creating mini whirlpools. Little Fish Fry and Little Turtle were soon trapped, spinning until they were dizzy.

“It’s over! Little Fish Fry and Little Turtle are stuck in the whirlpool! But what about Little Mermaid?” Lu Xie rushed over to Zhenzhu, shouting passionately, “Little Mermaid hasn’t given up! Look at him swim with all his might! The whirlpool has stopped! Little Mermaid is in first place! He’s about to cross the finish line! The champion is… Little Mermaid!”

“Woohoo!” Hai San’er clapped and cheered, lifting Zhenzhu by the armpits and declaring, “Champion!”

“Now it’s time for the awards ceremony.” Lu Xie brought out a handmade laurel wreath and a “champion badge”—the wreath was woven from grass leaves, and the badge was made from a beer cap.

Proudly receiving his champion title, Zhenzhu puffed out his chest, raising the “champion badge” high above his head. First place! First place! Such pride!

If Zhenzhu Were an Ordinary Human Child

Today was Zhenzhu’s first day walking to school on his own.

“Did you check your bag? Are all your books packed?”

“Don’t forget your water bottle, handkerchief, and lunchbox,” Lu Xie added.

Zhenzhu saluted him. “Report, Dad! Everything’s packed!”

Though Zhenzhu insisted he had it all ready, Lu Xie double-checked his bag. Even then, he felt uneasy and slipped some spare change into the deepest pocket.

“I’ve put some pocket money in your bag. Buy whatever you need.”

Hai San’er tidiedZhenzhu’s clothes. “You remember the way, right? Dad won’t walk you there.”

Zhenzhu nodded solemnly. “Got it! Dad, if I don’t leave now, I’ll be late!”

“Alright, alright, off you go.” Hai San’er pretended to cry dramatically.

Zhenzhu was thrilled. Finally, he’d get to go to school like a big kid. Before leaving, he reminded his dads, “Dad, you and Old Dad must not follow me!”

Hai San’er replied cheerfully, “We won’t, we won’t. Go on now!”

The moment the door closed, Hai San’er and Lu Xie exchanged a glance. Lu Xie broke the silence first.

“Really not following him?”

Hai San’er gave in quickly. “We won’t follow too far. Let’s just make sure he crosses the street safely; it’s dangerous for a little kid to do it alone.”

The two easily convinced themselves. Peeking from the balcony, they saw Zhenzhu step out the front gate. After quickly disguising themselves, they snuck out to tail him.

Zhenzhu followed traffic rules carefully. When the green light appeared, he crossed the street with the crowd, no issues at all.

Hai San’er and Lu Xie exchanged a look. Hai San’er asked, “Do we head back?”

Already outside, Lu Xie thought they might as well follow a bit further. “Let’s wait until he reaches the park. What if he gets tempted by the playground and ends up late?”

Hai San’er agreed, so they kept a ten-meter distance, trailing Zhenzhu.

When Zhenzhu passed the park, he didn’t even glance at the playground, humming a tune as he continued toward school.

Darn it. So much self-control at such a young age!

“What now?” Hai San’er looked at Lu Xie, stumped.

Lu Xie sighed. “We’re already here. Let’s watch him walk through the school gate. Otherwise, we won’t feel at ease all day.”

Hai San’er thought Lu Xie made perfect sense. After all, Lu Xie called the shots, so they continued.

As they got closer to the school, more students with backpacks appeared. Zhenzhu met up with his classmates, walking and laughing with them.

Hai San’er and Lu Xie no longer had a reason to “escort” him. They looked at each other. Hai San’er asked, “Still follow him?”

“Forget it. He’s already with his classmates.” Lu Xie silently shed a tear in his heart. To parents, no matter how big their kids get, they’re always babies.

Hai San’er shrugged. “What now? Head home?”

Lu Xie checked his phone. Since Zhenzhu’s arrival, they’d hardly had time alone together. A sly grin appeared on his face as he mimed drinking. “Wanna grab a drink?”

Meanwhile, Zhenzhu had his own thoughts.

“Zhenzhu, didn’t your dads drop you off today?”

Zhenzhu was the only kid in class still being escorted by his parents, earning him some teasing from classmates. This was why he insisted on going to school alone today.

Initially, he could proudly retort that he’d come alone. But when crossing the street earlier, he spotted his dads trailing him.

Turning around, Zhenzhu saw no sign of them now. For some reason, he felt a little sad.

What’s wrong with being dropped off? Other kids wish their parents would do the same but don’t have anyone to take them! They’re just jealous!

Pouting, Zhenzhu declared proudly, “Who says my dads didn’t drop me off? They just left!”